i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
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