Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
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By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
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