on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
I just want to let you know that when you try and lie about the "solid 10" you brought home last night, I've got a picture of her and about 10 reasons you should have left her at the bar starting with those martin scorsese eyebrows.
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
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