my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
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