Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
You were sitting at the bus stop holding hands with some Polish girl you just met, who was just as drunk as you were, and you kept trying to light your Kit Kat and smoke it.
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
If I'm not up by 8, will you please knock on my door?
That depends, can you stop texting me while you're masturbating?
Touche.
I CAN STILL HEAR YOUR VIBRATOR.
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
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