I could make wine with my vomit
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
Randomize
