I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
what day is it and did you see me today?
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
Randomize
