can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
I'm going to get drunk on champagne by myself.
Oh no wait my cat's here. Thank god for a second there I sounded really sad.
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
