We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
That's the last time you call me to prove to some girl at a bar that you're English. It's bad enough that you actually get to fuck them because of it without having to wake me up to seal the deal.
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
Randomize
