Getting a high five from your dog when you're stoned is one the greatest rewards of being a pet owner.
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
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