I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
Randomize
