you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
you traded sex for a burrito?
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
My penis needs a shock collar
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
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