Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
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Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
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Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
Randomize