he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
