I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
Randomize
