Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
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wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
I took your shirt off for you after you threw up on yourself, read you the ugly duckling, and then tucked you in. you better fucking love me, jackass.
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
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In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
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