haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
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