sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
When I'm drunk and can't pee, I sing my abc's in my head and try to pee before I get to pee. Last night I forgot to do it in my head
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
Randomize
