u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
Is a Chipotle burrito an acceptable "sorry I ran over your cat" gift?
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
Randomize
