I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
Randomize
