Text me right after you finish, I want to know how the ghetto fleshlight worked out
How about I just call you while I'm doing it so you can hear my reaction?
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
I fell asleep while we were Skyping and woke up to his balls bouncing in front of the camera while he sang "Wakey Wakey!" over and over again. Merryfuckingchristmas.
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
