I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
Using the balance in my bank account I just calculated how many fifths of vodka I can buy this year. Don't let me buy food, all my money is reserved for alcohol
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
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