i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
Randomize
