omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
Randomize
