There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
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