she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
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