This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
I just typed "I've got a friend" and my phone autocompletes to "that's a dick appointment". What is my life.
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