Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
I received a text promising me sex if I drove to Memphis this weekend. Too bad for my penis that we're watching zombie movies and playing cards.
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize
