I set the bag of cheetos on the open box on my coffee table while I was watching TV. I was so high I ate half of the styrofoam peanuts in the box by accident. Am I going to die?
I hope so
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
it's like that moment that you're driving and realize you're lost except instead of driving i'm just sitting here in my living room drunk, eating a plate of sausages, drinking red wine and just thinking "i'm going to be 28 this year. i know people who are married, with beautiful and well behaved children. where was the wrong turn?"
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
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