We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
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