Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
My mom is getting really tired of hearing the excuse 'it's 5 oclock somewhere'
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
