I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
Randomize