I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
Randomize
