The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
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