just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
You know you're too drunk when you start calling people out for unfollowing you on social networks.
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Randomize
