3:12 am: but i thought i was coming over tonight, don't fall asleep i wore new underwear
what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
Randomize
