hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
Randomize
