The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
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