I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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