I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
Just promise me we won't die tonight. I can't have an autopsy report that reads "stomach contents: Tequila and semen."
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
Randomize
