one might say we're banned from that church
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
The woman at the bus stop told me i smell delicious and asked if i wear cotton then proceeded to tell me about her shellfish allergy
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
Randomize
