Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
Randomize