booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
Molly wanted me to tell you, "she hasnt shit on the floor in a while" like she thinks its an accomplishment.
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
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