well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
Randomize
