My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
Randomize
