dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
This couple is walking their pig around campus
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
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