what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
Randomize
