I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
Randomize
