john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
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