hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
Randomize
