I hate your face
I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
Even the bartender felt bad for me
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
Randomize
