I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
I feel like abortions should bother me more
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
I'll admit it. It was a bad idea to sneak a fart out while she was taking a nap. Can you bring me a pair of underwear from my dresser. Preferably the one with the walruses in party hats one.
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
