Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
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