butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
Tip for today: never try to fart and swallow at the same time. You'll end up choking on whatever you are currently swallowing and shit yourself from the freakout of choking.
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
I don't think I can fit "I'm sorry for ruining Christmas" on one cake. Better make two.
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
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