i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
Randomize
