Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
Randomize