do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
You know you're fucked up when you throw your phone on the roof of the bar to show how good the Otter Box works.
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
Randomize
