And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
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