the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
Randomize
