Get your hand out of your ass!
how did you know my hand was in my ass? Guess where my other hand is..?
In your belly button
I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
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