I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
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