In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
Randomize
