I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
Randomize
