May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
i think my cat just said my name.
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
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