Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
Randomize
