we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
Randomize
