Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
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