In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
so i was sitting on this guys lap, and we were flirting and everything right..well his phone kept ringing, turns out it was his pregnant wife...she had gone into labor..
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
Randomize
