I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
