He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
I just caught my mom fingering herself in the bathroom...Im moving out.
My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
Randomize
