You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
Randomize
